Superhero of your heart
by jokersgirl
Summary: We met through mutual friends. I had a boyfriend, and he had regained his single status. We never expected to fall in love, even though we fell fast and hard. We never expected it to go this far. We never expected... this.
1. A chance meeting

It gets so much harder once the sun goes down and the world goes to sleep.

I got used to either sleeping with his arms around me. And the fact that if we weren't together for the night… which in reality was most nights… that he was at least thinking of me and wanting to be with me as much as I wanted to be with him.

See, we used to have this perfect love. I know people saw us and we were one of those couples who made people want to find love. In reality, for so long, we never fought. Yes, we had our disagreements, but we always worked them out civilly. I guess it was because we really didn't get to spend that much time together and why waste something so precious being unhappy?

We were so good for each other. Even though we appeared to be complete opposites… after all, I was the girl good poster child and he… well, he had never been.

I was seventeen when we met. He was twenty-one. Two weeks after we started dating, he turned twenty-two.

More importantly, one week after we officially started dating, I was forbidden to see him.

It was such a hard time for me. I lost some bad friends in the process, but to the world, they looked like saints. And here I was, torn between listening to others and staying with the first guy to really get me to fall for him.

I chose the boy.

Maybe I should start with the beginning of the story. Way back to January 29, 2004… the start of my tragic love story.

* * *

I walked into the bowling alley that night, frantically searching for that one face.

I sighed in relief as I saw my friend Lita. She was with Ken, as expected. Best friends for as long as forever. Everyone who met the two of them and had seen them together told the duo they'd start dating… but it would never happen. And the reason for my relief being that until maybe five that evening… I was scared senseless that Lita was dead.

Only by the strength of her body was she standing here tonight. Not by any help of the dozens of pills she had taken the night before. They had only sufficed to knock her out.

I was happy that I hadn't brought my boyfriend, Seiya, with me tonight. This was a night for friends, and he didn't really get along with my friends too well. Last time I had brought him with me here, he ditched me and my friends for three hours to play laser tag by himself. This was not a time for that kind of drama.

We were walking back from Round Table Pizza when we ran into two of Lita and Ken's friends. Darien and Andrew. Darien was 6' 5" with somewhat long dark hair, while Andrew was a few inches shorter with brown hair. I was immediately attracted to Andrew… but so was Lita.

We got a few minutes alone, and I told Lita I thought Andrew was cute. She laughed and told me she thought the same… but reminded me I could look, but I couldn't touch… however… she could. I laughed with her, cursed my relationship, and walked off with Ken.

As Ken and I were walking back from the arcade to the table the other three were sitting, I became extremely hyper. We reached the table and I looked down at my shirt, and poked it. "Look, Batman's squishy!" referring to the superhero adorning my chest.

"I'd like to squish Batman…" Darien did NOT just say that.

"…"

And that was how the rest of the night went. Darien continued to make jokes referring to Batman… complete with gestures and points. It was a great night though, all in all. I got a new nickname. I'll give you one guess. Darien appointed himself Joker as soon as I accepted that I was now Batman. I had a lot more fun that I had in a long time, worrying only about hanging out with good friends and making new ones.

It was during the short break off of… me…thatAndrew pointed out the tall, cute, tattooed girl Darien had a little infatuation with. It was then I learned that with all his jokes and bravado came a set-back- he couldn't find the right words around the girls he liked. Surprise surprise.

I left that night with two big hugs from Andrew and an awkward short hug from Darien. It was slightly awkward simply from the fact that he was 6' 5"... and I was only 5' 3". With shoes.

"Bye Batman!" they called as I left with Lita and Ken in Lita's mom's car.

That was how I met the first boy I fell in love with.

* * *

Sorry this is short. It's my first chapter of my first chapter and it's going to take a while to make them longer. I will, in time. For now, each chapter will probably focus on a part of the relationship… each new development. We'll see. I'll try to update soon. The more response the more motivated I'll get, so I encourage you to let me know. 3

Alicia


	2. You're my hero

August 27, 2005

Today it was a little easier. And last night, I actually fell asleep after a nice long conversation online with an old friend. One who didn't know my past and so it was random, and not bombarded with all the emotions of the rest of my life.

It was a nice feeling, even if it didn't last long.

I went to a baseball game tonight. My sister, Samantha, was there, with her boyfriend. It seems to give her joy to call me a whore for whatever reasons.

Maybe she'd stop if she knew I was single.

Maybe if she knew just how we ended.

But I'll give her the joy of not knowing, of being able to insult me like nothing is wrong. Why should she have to worry about how her big sister feels?

That… and I don't want to hear any of the shit she might try and tell me. She never liked him, but like most people… she didn't know him.

Where was I? I ended last time about how we met. So I guess I'll go into the next few times we hung out.

* * *

It was one week after I had first met Darien and Andrew. Lita, Ken, and I were back at the bowling alley (our soon to be new Friday and weekend routine) and once again, I had left Seiya behind. I told him it was friend time again, and truly, it was. I really just wanted to hang out and yea… I wanted that hanging out to include my two new friends. And with the way they joke about me, it just made sense.

It was a while before we ran into them, but honestly, once they get there, you don't miss them. Darien is just so… tall! And Andrew, well, with his mass of hair, they make quite the site.

"Hey Batman," Andrew said, giving me and Lita hugs. This boy is so friendly!

"Hey Andrew. Hi Darien." I greeted both of my newest friends.

This time we spent more time in the arcade than the actual bowling alley. Andrew had a thing for the game "Hydro Thunder," a boat racing game where the seat vibrates. And since Lita had a thing for Andrew, we followed.

I got some tokens after Andrew's race and played. Lita made fun of me because I got the chair that didn't vibrate… very nice friends, huh? She also took immense pleasure in once again reminding that I could look, but I couldn't touch. Something I was finding more and more irritating as time went on.

Later that night, the Batman jokes took a turn for the worse. Well, worse might be the wrong word.

"I'd like to get in Batman's utility belt."

"…"

"Hmmm, batcave….!"

"…"

Now, don't normally, I have a comeback for every dirty joke. Most people tell me that it'd be an improvement if I got my mind UP to the gutter. But there was something about Darien in which I was at a loss for words. I'd awkwardly smile as Lita, Andrew, and Ken roared with laughter. What was I to say? I had a boyfriend. So I could only look.

That night ended with more hugs from the two boys and more jokes made about me. It seemed that I was Darien's… fixation for sexual innuendo. He wanted to get into my batcave and try out my bat toys. The problem being I didn't own any and if I did, the right to use them went to my boyfriend, Seiya.

That was the other weird thing. I couldn't blame Darien for anything he said because I hadn't mentioned Seiya at all to him or Andrew. And as cute as I found Andrew, I knew I had to lay off. Though I thought at first he might like me, I found him and Lita in the starts of something.

And in contrast, I mentioned Darien and Andrew a lot to Seiya. But I didn't tell him everything. He was so down; I couldn't find myself telling him what a great time I had. I have found myself apologizing for things I'm not sorry for because I feel like I should. I don't know.

All I know is that Lita and I had plans to meet up with Darien and Andrew Saturday night (tomorrow) and 9pm. And I wasn't bringing Seiya.

* * *

We got there a little early the next night, because I knew my mom wouldn't be thrilled at me leaving at 9pm. Plus, I had a midnight curfew and I wanted to spend as much time out of the house as possible.

That night was hilarious. I met Lita's friend Eli after Darien and Andrew showed up. I was introduced as "Batman."

"You're my hero!" Eli exclaimed as he hugged me and pet my hand. My eyes bulged as he finished petting my hand and brought it up to his mouth and kissed it. I was laughing out of slight embarrassment, but also once again secretly glad with the absence of Seiya.

However, Darien was there and who knew how happy he was about it. I was still the butt of all his sexual jokes and I still didn't know what to think of it. There was still the hot tattooed girl. But all I knew was that I was going to be seeing him and Andrew on a weekly basis and that I wasn't bringing Seiya.Ever. Because... boys don't mix well.

The only part I felt slightly guilty about was how much I found myself looking forward to Friday. Looking forward to seeing two boys who were not my boyfriend. Even though nothing had happened… I was starting to feel bad. Why wasn't I this excited to see Seiya? Especially with Valentine's Day in a week. You'd think that with my favorite holiday coming up (even though I had never had a special one) and me with someone to share it with for the very first time, I'd be looking forward to that more than anything. Wrong.

After we left that night, Lita and I talked on the phone, like we had been doing for a while now. I found out that Darien and Andrew were living in a tent in town, because they both had been kicked out by their families. It was just… wow. I didn't change my opinion of them, but I just got reminded of something most people don't think of every day. Be thankful for what you have. And be aware of how things like this stick in people's minds… and not always in the best way.

* * *

I know this chapter might be kind of confusing…I don't really know. I know a lot of detail is missing, and I'm sorry. It took me a little bit to write it because I'm writing this story from my past (I just thought I would mention that, because I want to try and be as accurate as possible) and I had to search through boxes to find my journal from that period of time. So yea. All reviews are welcome; I won't take offense if it's constructive. You can take the time to tell me I suck if you really wish but I'll let you know now that I won't care. Hahaha. ;) I hope you enjoy this, and I will reiterate that the more feedback I get, the more inspired I will become. Hope to get out more in the next week or sooner, but no promises, as I'm moving in the next ten days. But I'm an insomniac, so we'll see.

Thanks to lonewriter66 and tkdl for your reviews. You two alone took the time out to review and that means a ton to me. 

And oh, disclaimer for this chapter and the last… maybe future to: I don't own the character names that you recognize from Sailor Moon. However, I do own the story, as it is from my own life. All other names may or may not have been changed.


	3. Happy Day before Valentine's Day

August 30, 2005

It kills me to be putting my memories in a box. I don't want them there. I don't want only memories, but in reality, that's all I have left. And it's all I will ever have.

But what do I do with the ones that are too big for the box? Some of the stuff he's given me won't fit. And I can't very well just cut off a piece of my skin and put it in there too.

And then there's all the stuff I should have never given back.

God, it just hurts so much. Each and every day is unbearable and I can't believe I make it to bed each night and still wake up.

Tonight, while I was driving home, I wondered what would happen if I were to drive off the bridge? Or maybe crash into the guardrail?

But I know what would happen. Especially in the latter. I'd survive that one for sure. And look like an idiot. And the former I'd regret and I probably wouldn't be able to change it. And then things would be worse than before and I'd hurt the people I love.

And I refuse to follow in his footsteps.

That's why I only wonder. I'm so much more than that. So much more than he is… now.

So tonight, I'm here… going through boxes I packed before all this. And I'm going to have to find a way to clean out all of the crevices of my life that soaked up our love to be able to get over him.

* * *

Tuesday, February 10, 2004

9:40:38PM PST

Feeling Quiet

Hearing Reel Big Fish

Lost

I don't know what's going on in my life anymore. My mom never seems to want to try and get along with me anymore. She used to try and talk after our big fights and we would say sorry and have a good cry, and be okay. Now it's like she doesn't even care. If the dished aren't done, the house is messy, or whatever…I get yelled at. I go out to get away from everything and then things just get worse. I'm not spending enough time on scholarships. I'm not doing… everything. Newsflash. I can't. I can't even deal with my own life without feel like I am going to break. Probably the only good thing that happened today was that someone imed me online and ended up sending me pics of my little sister, smiling. But even that just makes me miss her more. The tears are running down my cheeks again. Why do I always cry? Maybe it's because everything happens at once. My friends are confusing me so much, and I'm surprised about who cares enough to notice that something is wrong. Like Molly… god, she is such a sweetheart. It's so nice to know that she cares. Other people… just live their own lives. Oh well, what can I do? So yea……… god, how many of those can I write? Let's not find out. I don't even want to say the other things on my mind. Every time I say it, it just becomes more final. It's like… I know what I have to do in order not to lose myself… but I don't want to hurt anyone. I can't stop it though… it's going to happen. I know it and that's why I'm so upset. It's like… I don't want to talk to anyone because no one can say anything to take away all the pain I know I am going to cause. Figured it out yet? Took me a long time and I was inside my head. And I still have homework to do and things to think about. God… I don't know what to do. Tomorrow is going to suck. And I have for get through the next few days… essentially alone. "This one's for all the suckers who still believe in love, this one's for you." That's the line that's been stuck in my head all day…. I love Reel Big Fish for putting thoughts into words. Any thoughts that take my mind off of things for even a second is good. I don't know how to do what I need to. And god, I can't say it again. I have to go… nothing can make me feel better. Nothing I know about anyways. G2g. Can't take this. Bye.

* * *

Thursday, February 12, 2004

11:08:50PM PST

Feeling Frustrated

A day off

So I finally stayed home and got a day off of school. And I spent the whole time til they left awake cause every few minutes my mom would come in and yell at me for some reason or another. Said we were going to have a talk when she got home and that I wasn't allowed to do anything- not even visit Lita for her birthday- today. Whatever. Can't take it, god. So yea. I got up at like 11:30am and ate. Watched a little TV and Finding Nemo while I worked on Lita's present. Got the final touches down. And then started on another part of it… the card. Lol… I stole a bit of the idea from KJ. Sorry girl, love you, it was just that great! And I worked on English… not math, haven't done math in a while… don't know why, just haven't. And I took another nap. God, still so tired. And then I called Lita to wish her a happy birthday and talked for a little while. After, I cleaned up… washed dishes and all that crap. Listened to all of my music, hella loud. Then house was vibrating with bass. Haha, good stuff. Mom came home, did some stuff, picked up Lauren and all that and still "talked" to me. It was her yelling, tell me I was screwing p my life. Whatever. I stayed quiet, cause I am not going to say anything to hurt her… I'm not mean like that. Cried some more… just when I thought I didn't have that many more tears. Guess that is never the case. Dealt with that for a while. Then worked on Lita's stuff. Seiya called… told him I had homework to do online, which was true. Tried unsuccessfully not to think of him all day. I don't want to hurt him, cause I still care about him. I just can't be a couple with anyone right now, there is too much going on. Mom still doesn't know about that. How would she… all she care about are scholarships. Whatever. And she's threatening to take the internet away from me. My sanity. I have to go no. Bye.

* * *

School came the next morning and reminded me it was the last day of school before Valentine's Day. All my stress had caused me to forget about my favorite holiday. I had nothing, for no one, when I usually carried around a fairly large bad stuffed with gifts. I had never had a Valentine, but that didn't matter. I knew someday, I would. And that one guy would make it all worth it.

* * *

Friday, February 13, 2004, around 7pm or so…

Mina got to my house and we got into her car. She was driving me to Seiya's house, since I hadn't been able to go the night before. My mom didn't want to understand why I truly needed a day off of school, so I didn't tell her. But it's not an easy thing to decide to break up with your boyfriend of seven and a half months. Especially when it's not because anything really was really going wrong, but simply because not enough felt right.

Mina parked her car across the street from his house and I took a deep breath as she whispered me encouragement. He knew I was on my way, but it still took me a long time to get out of the car.

I walked slowly, as slowly as I could manage to his house. My hand dragged as I raised it to knock on the door.

He came outside at my request. My eyes started tearing before I could even get the words out. I didn't want to do this, but it didn't change the fact that I had to.

I said I was sorry. I said I wasn't sure. I needed time to think, to be myself. I wanted to find out who I was. I told him a little bit about the stuff with my mom. I'd later find out that was a mistake. I told him I had to think. And that I couldn't think with him around. I had to be by myself. I'm sorry. I told him I still cared about him.

He cried with me, but for a different reason. He broke his silence to tell me he didn't want to lose me.

I tried to leave. "I just love you so much," he said.

It was the first time he'd ever said that to me. And the only time he ever would.

I left, crying all the way back to Mina's car. I had let him kiss me one last time, as a comfort to him. I shouldn't have let that happen. I didn't want it. Nor did I want to lead him on. We drove away.

* * *

We got to the bowling alley in more time than it would usually take. Mina's great and took the long way so that I could compose myself. I had an act to get ready.

I was devastated when Lita was obviously buzzed. She knew what was going on with me and I had hoped she would be there for me. I really wanted to talk.

Still, I gave her the card, as we ran into mine and Mina's friend Erica.

I left Lita at the bowling alley for a little bit as the three of us went to the Nugget, a grocery store that my friend worked at, to give him his sunglasses back that I had stolen earlier that day. I convinced him to stop by after he got off work.

We ran back into Lita outside the bowling alley and headed back inside to wait for the boys.

It was only about half an hour before the two walked in. Darien was toting a card addressed to Batman, a daffodil, and Batman socks, while Andrew held his own card and a few flowers. Darien gave me my gift as Andrew presented Lita with hers. I held them with me all night, but refused to open the card while we were there. I was startled by the hearts on the card from the boy who Lita had confidently told me just wanted to "fuck" me.

Darien, for the first time since I had met him, was extremely quiet. I was disappointed, because I had wanted Mina and Frank, my friend from the Nugget, to meet him, and they didn't get to see the regular guy who cracked hilarious jokes all the time.

Erica left first, followed by Mina and Frank. I was sad to see them go, but I also hoped Darien would be his normal, loud self. I was disappointed once again as he remained mostly silent and almost somber throughout the whole night.

* * *

I left around midnight and got home not long after. I tried on the socks, and they didn't fit. I checked and there were little kids socks. I hung them up on my wall with a tack- I was NOT about to let a present go to waste.

Then I looked to the card. I had avoided opening it but as the socks were hung and the flower in water… I couldn't. I looked at the envelope, the name Batman surrounded by the Batman logo in an oval, with little hearts in the head, tail, and wings of Batman, all done in sharpie. On the sealed side was a little rose, pre-bloom, at the bottom. Above that was a strange heart. It had a triangle, with one point at the dip in the heart and the others extending outside the heart, but above the bottom of it. I was intrigued as I used a knife to cut open the top in order not to ruin it.

The front of the card simply said, "Happy Valentine's Day" with the picture of a chocolate heart in a small red cupcake wrapper and pink toned backgrounds. The inside of the card itself read "Hope it's especially sweet." The back had a drawing of the bat signal and the words, "I'm callin' ya!" added on.

But what stopped me more was the words that still smelled of sharpie written by him inside. The words filled the entire card:

"Bet you never saw this coming didya? Yea, I know it's insanely corny. But I had to. I was wondering if you would like to be my valentine. (sounds like I'm 10!) I'm asking you early because on Valentine's Day I would probably back out, on account of me hidden shyness. So I hope you like the gift, I went through hell to find something for you. And this was my only priority for the past week. So happy v-day and I send hugs and kisses… (so so corny) xoxoxoxxx ;p Hope you have a good one. And as always much love from me… Darien (joker) 3 3 3 (I fell all warm inside)"

* * *

So here you go. There's the next chapter. I had planned to get it out tonight since last night, I think. It just took me getting home and awake long enough to get it. I hope you like it and that it doesn't confuse you. Those are actual journal entries of mine, that I thought would best give you my frame of mind.

I thought you should know. Serena is 17 and finishing up her last semester of high school. Great student, also an athlete. The other characters will also not embody the ones you've learned to know in the show. Sorry about that, but it fits for my story. If it bugs you that much, I suggest you fnd another story.

KiwiKol , thank you for your review. Thanks for the encouragement. The focus of the story will be clear shortly, if not already, and it won't be a fictional character. I wish I could speed up the pace to all the romance and what not, but it just wouldn't fit. Don't worry though, it should start in one of the next three chapters, I'm almost positive. :)

As always, all feedback welcome.


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